The Definition Of Bad Sex

Still without a word he turned back to her, the same furious intensity in his face, and, avoiding direct eye contact, he started to kiss her while he planted his right hand against her vagina. Once it was in place, he began to massage her with a kind of dry pumping action, which reminded her of someone blowing up a lilo. She groaned a bit by way of encouragement. He didn't seem to need more as suddenly he heaved himself over between her legs, fumbled himself into her, thrust away a few times - no more than six at the outside - and then, with a terrific gasp to tell her that it was now (which she countered with some cries and pants of her own), he collapsed on top of her. The whole business, from the moment he folded the paper, had taken perhaps eight minutes. Ah, thought Edith.

"Thank you, darling." One of Charles's more irritating habits was always to thank Edith after sex, as if she had just brought him a cup of tea. Of course, at this point, she did not know it was habitual.

Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus

Kingdom: Animalia
Location found: Washington State

You will find the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus high in the trees of Washington State's Olympic National Forest. They spend their early lives in the water of Puget Sound, but as they mature they move upwards, adopting an arboreal existence. They use their eight arms to swing from branch to branch, as well as to grab small prey such as insects and frogs. During their mating season they return to the water, but soon after resume their life in the forest.

The tree octopus population is under great pressure from the encroachments of the modern world: logging, roads, pollution, and overhunting by trappers eager to sell the octopuses as ornamental decorations for hats. As a result, the species is close to extinction. The Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus organization has long been attempting to raise awareness of this animal and its plight. They urge concerned citizens to write to their congressional representative about this problem.


Rare photo of the elusive tree octopus

The Pacific Northwest tree octopus (Octopus paxarbolis) can be found in the temperate rainforests of the Olympic Peninsula on the west coast of North America. Their habitat lies on the Eastern side of the Olympic mountain range, adjacent to Hood Canal. These solitary cephalopods reach an average size (measured from arm-tip to mantle-tip,) of 30-33 cm. Unlike most other cephalopods, tree octopuses are amphibious, spending only their early life and the period of their mating season in their ancestral aquatic environment. Because of the moistness of the rainforests and specialized skin adaptations, they are able to keep from becoming desiccated for prolonged periods of time, but given the chance they would prefer resting in pooled water.

An intelligent and inquisitive being (it has the largest brain-to-body ratio for any mollusk), the tree octopus explores its arboreal world by both touch and sight. Adaptations its ancestors originally evolved in the three dimensional environment of the sea have been put to good use in the spatially complex maze of the coniferous Olympic rainforests. The challenges and richness of this environment (and the intimate way in which it interacts with it,) may account for the tree octopus's advanced behavioral development. (Some evolutionary theorists suppose that "arboreal adaptation" is what laid the groundwork in primates for the evolution of the human mind.)

Reaching out with one of her eight arms, each covered in sensitive suckers, a tree octopus might grab a branch to pull herself along in a form of locomotion called tentaculation; or she might be preparing to strike at an insect or small vertebrate, such as a frog or rodent, or steal an egg from a bird's nest; or she might even be examining some object that caught her fancy, instinctively desiring to manipulate it with her dexterous limbs (really deserving the title "sensory organs" more than mere "limbs",) in order to better know it.

Map of estimated tree octopus maximum range, including spawning waters.

Tree octopuses have eyesight comparable to humans. Besides allowing them to see their prey and environment, it helps them in inter-octopus relations. Although they are not social animals like us, they display to one-another their emotions through their ability to change the color of their skin: red indicates anger, white fear, while they normally maintain a mottled brown tone to blend in with the background.

The reproductive cycle of the tree octopus is still linked to its roots in the waters of the Puget Sound from where it is thought to have originated. Every year, in Spring, tree octopuses leave their homes in the Olympic National Forest and migrate towards the shore and, eventually, their spawning grounds in Hood Canal. There, they congregate (the only real social time in their lives,) and find mates. After the male has deposited his sperm, he returns to the forests, leaving the female to find an aquatic lair in which to attach her strands of egg-clusters. The female will guard and care for her eggs until they hatch, refusing even to eat, and usually dying from her selflessness. The young will spend the first month or so floating through Hood Canal, Admiralty Inlet, and as far as North Puget Sound before eventually moving out of the water and beginning their adult lives.

Why It's Endangered

Although the tree octopus is not officially listed on the Endangered Species List, we feel that it should be added since its numbers are at a critically low level for its breeding needs. The reasons for this dire situation include: decimation of habitat by logging and suburban encroachment; building of roads that cut off access to the water which it needs for spawning; predation by foreign species such as house cats; and booming populations of its natural predators, including the bald eagle and sasquatch. What few that make it to the Canal are further hampered in their reproduction by the growing problem of pollution from farming and residential run-off. Unless immediate action is taken to protect this species and its habitat, the Pacific Northwest tree octopus will be but a memory.

Tree Octopus hat from 1923 (Click to enlarge.)

The possibility of Pacific Northwest tree octopus extinction is not an unwarranted fear. Other tree octopus species -- including the Douglas octopus and the red-ringed madrona sucker -- were once abundant throughout the Cascadia region, but have since gone extinct because of threats similar to those faced by paxarbolis, as well as overharvesting by the now-illegal tree octopus trade.

The history of the tree octopus trade is a sad one. Their voracious appetite for bird plumes having exhausted all the worthy species of that family, the fashionistas moved on to cephalopodic accoutrements during the early 20th Century. Tree octopuses became prized by the fashion industry as ornamental decorations for hats, leading greedy trappers to wipe out whole populations to feed the vanity of the fashionable rich. While fortunately this practice has been outlawed, its effects still reverberate today as these millinery deprivations brought tree octopus numbers below the critical point where even minor environmental change could cause disaster.

How You Can Help

Here are a few things that you can do to help save the Pacific Northwest tree octopus:

Posters motivate the citizenry to action! Post them!

• Write your representatives to let them know that you are concerned and that you feel the tree octopus should be included on the Endangered Species List and given special protection.
• Help build awareness of the tree octopus by telling your friends and co-workers.
• Place a tentacle ribbon on your website.
• Participate in tree octopus awareness marches. You can demonstrate their plight during the march by having your friends dress up as tree octopuses while you attack them in a lumber jack costume.
• Pamphlet your neighborhood. Tentacle ribbons make excellent doorknob hangers.
• Join and donate to an organization committed to conservation, such as Greenpeas.
• Boycott companies that use non-tree-octopus-safe wood harvesting practices.
• Sign an online petition! Nothing activates activity like an Internet petition.

Good Carbs versus Bad Carbs...

The word "carbs" is everywhere these days, and there are many diets which are either "for" carbs or "against" carbs.

The public is getting confused about all this confusion over carbs, and nobody seems to really understand what to do when dieting these days.

So we'll explain the simple truth about carbs and what it takes to begin losing weight immediately.

A "carb" is just a short hand way of saying "a carbohydrate".

A carbohydrate is a special type of calorie which contains extra energy, which is why you'll feel more energetic when eating foods which are rich in carbohydrates. For example, if you eat a bag of candy or a piece of cake then you'll feel very energetic afterwards, because these are foods which are rich in excess carbs.

The truth is that not all carbs are fattening, because there are different types of carbs -- there are "good carbs" and there are "bad carbs" too.

However, if you are overweight (or if you're one of those people who has been overweight since childhood) then it's 99% certain that your daily foods contain too many bad carbs -- and not enough good carbs.

Sugar is a type of bad carb, and most people think they know how to avoid sugar. But the truth is that sugar has MANY different forms which are very hard to spot in foods. ...And this is why you'll never lose weight until you learn to eat good carbs only.

For example, most people falsely believe that eating foods sweetened with honey are somehow healthier than eating foods sweetened with sugar --- but in reality honey is just as fattening as sugar. In fact, honey is filled with the same fattening carbs as sugar.

Why is this true?

This is true because honey (and other bad carbs) cause your blood sugar level to rise sharply after a meal (which is why you'll feel energetic after eating a honey based meal).

This causes you to gain weight because when your blood sugar rises then your body is forced to over-produce a hormone called "insulin" (because insulin is needed to help process excess blood sugar). ...And when your body produces too much insulin then fat storage will occur.

But if you eat good carbs (instead of bad carbs) then your blood sugar level will not skyrocket after each meal, and thus you can burn fat and lose weight much easier. Plus, you'll feel energetic all day on a more even level, without the "highs" and "lows" that most overweight people experience.

So to begin losing weight you need to change the types of foods that you eat each day, and you can do this by learning about the Fat Burning Foods included in our new online diet.

To learn which fat burning foods you need to eat to begin losing weight, we recommend using our new online diet right here.

All the regular homeless people have newspaper, and look what I have: A Degree!

I dont know where I'm goin.
My Dad died, and he left me his degrees.
My mom would always say "Dad, why dont you work?",
But he just kept learning.
All the other kids parents were working and saving up money for school,
And I was actaully in school all when my dad was in school.
He was so gready with degrees, he took my degree.
And now I'm just glad he left me these.
Because all the regular homeless people have newspaper, and look what I have.
These are documented.
My father left them for me.
And Im going to leave them to my kids.
I'm going to learn too.
I'm going to get super smart, so I to can die without money.
But I'll be the smartest dead guy.
Who has that.

Why Ab Machines Can Never Give You a Slimmer Waistline...

Ab Machines are not the answer to a slimmer waistline.

Ab machines are being advertised everywhere these days, but they are most commonly advertised on late night infomercials.

These infomercials are largely aimed at tricking the public to believe that they can reduce their stomach by doing a few ab exercises each day.

You've seen the infomercials, so you know what we're talking about.

These infomercials usually have a bunch of super-healthy fitness models walking around with perfect abs -- and they tell you that they owe their great looking abs to whatever ab machine that they're trying to sell to you.

These fitness models usually have a smile on their face as they demonstrate the ab machine for you, and they do this so that you'll believe that it's fun and easy to use their ab machine.

However, what these super-healthy fitness models don't tell you is that they had great looking abs even before they used an ab machine.

Most of those fitness models were born with super-lean bodies, and this means that they would have great looking abs no matter what.

THE TRUTH ABOUT AB MACHINES

The truth is that ab machines do work to strengthen your ab muscles, but that�s all they do. They strengthen your ab muscles, but they do not make your waistline slimmer -- see the difference?

Ab machines cannot make your stomach THINNER or SLIMMER � they can only make your ab muscles STRONGER.

You see, even if you have the strongest ab muscles in the world, it�s still possible to have a huge waist at the same time.

In fact, just look at football players for a perfect example of this. Football players have some of the strongest ab muscles on the planet (you could almost hit their stomach with a sledgehammer and not hurt them) ---- but yet they are also some of the most overweight athletes on the planet.

This is because they have super strong ab muscles, but those ab muscles are buried beneath layers of fat tissue.

This fact PROVES that ab machines will only give you stronger abs, but they won't give you a SLIMMER STOMACH.

If you want a thinner waistline then you must lose the fat tissue which is sitting on top of your stomach muscles, and the only way to do that is to follow a good dieting plan.

You must remember that you can make your abs super strong and firm, and yet you can still have tons of fat tissue sitting on top of your stomach which prevents your ab muscles from being seen.

This is the "truth" which ab machine makers don't want you to know when you're watching their fitness models on TV. The truth is that you need to begin a diet to lose the fat which is sitting on top of your ab muscles, since only then will you get a slimmer waistline.

To begin losing weight fast (and to get a slimmer waistline) we recommend using the new Idiot Proof Diet from Fat Loss 4 Idiots. This is a brand new type of diet never seen before.

You can begin this new diet right here.

How To LOSE WEIGHT And Still Eat Like a Slob!!!

The way to cure Obesity is not always by lowering your Daily Calories, and here's why...

Haven't you ever wondered why some people are naturally overweight while other people can remain skinny while eating twice as much?

The truth is that your total "daily calories" is not the deciding factor in whether you're overweight or skinny.

You see, there are 3 main types of calories that you can eat each day.

First, there is protein...

Next, there are carbohydrates (carbs)...

And finally there are fat calories...

The truth is that your body doesn't pay attention to how many daily calories are eaten, but rather your body pays attention to how much of EACH TYPE of calorie that you consume.

For example, if you eat too many sugar based calories (sugar is common in fat free foods) then your body won't be able to use all of those sugar calories, and the excess calories will be stored as fat tissue.

This can happen even if you didn't eat very many daily calories, because if you eat too many "wrong" calories then you'll get fat. This is why many obese people remain overweight their whole lives even though they eat less than some of their skinny friends and family members.

...And it doesn't have to be this way, because even though it's true that some people have slower metabolisms (and suffer from obesity) they can still get just as skinny as their friends if they just learn to EAT THE RIGHT TYPES OF CALORIES EACH DAY.

You see, your body needs protein, carbs and fat calories too. Your body needs all 3 types of calories, but it does not need them all in the same proportions at every meal.

Certain types of fat calories can speed up weight loss believe it or not, while other types of "fat free foods" will actually make you overweight if you eat them too often.

Why else do you think that losing weight is so difficult? Why else do you think that our society is suffering from a serious obesity problem which is getting worse?

It's because the ANSWER to weight loss is the OPPOSITE of what most people think. Most average people have been brought up to believe that eating "fat" is bad and that eating "fat free foods" is healthy.

That may "seem" logical at first, but in reality the opposite is often true. Eating "fat" does not automatically turn to fat tissue on your body, and eating "fat free" does not automatically cause weight loss to happen either.

To begin losing weight you must realize this fact and open your mind to a new way of dieting.

If you want to lose weight fast then you must learn to eat foods which have fat burning properties, and these are foods which keep your blood sugar level more stable throughout the day.

You see, if you eat foods which cause your blood sugar level to spike upwards too sharply then you'll feel "energetic" for a short while -- but then afterwards your blood sugar level will drop way too low and you'll feel tired and lethargic for the rest of the day.

The higher your blood sugar rises after a meal, then the lower it will drop afterward. ...And when it drops you'll feel tired and hungry all over again. This is why obese people often suffer from "highs and lows" in their energy level.

But if you begin eating fat burning foods (which keep your blood sugar level stable throughout the day) then your energy will be steady all day long, you'll have plenty of energy and you won't ever feel tired of lethargic.

Also, when your blood sugar level is kept stable then your body's natural fat burning engine will begin burning more fat tissue. That's why these are called "fat burning foods".

To learn which fat burning foods you need to eat to begin losing weight, we recommend using our new online diet right here.

Cops shoot, kill chain-wielding man

Probe to address conflicting witness reports, new police chief says

Published: Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The first gunshot got Ben Doyle's attention.

Looking from a rooftop balcony, he saw a man walk slowly to the middle of Granville Street. There was another burst of fire, and the man twisted and fell to the pavement.

"It's not something I really wanted to see," Doyle said yesterday, watching as firefighters sprayed the man's blood from the street's yellow centre line. "It was a loud, scary scene."

Pedestrians stroll past police tape on Granville near 16th Avenue, where police shot a 39-year-old man dead.

The shooting of the 39-year-old by police was described in a similar way by police Chief Jim Chu, on his first day as the city's top cop.

At 9:30 p.m. Monday, police received a 911 call reporting an assault by two men on a third person near Granville and 16th Avenue.

Chu said the first officers to arrive saw a "very large" man seated at the bus stop on the east side of Granville. He turned away from them, but they could see something shiny in his hand. It turned out to be a claw hammer.

"This man complied with our commands and dropped the hammer," said Chu. "When he was told to lie on the ground, he started to lie down but didn't completely comply.

"One of the officers at the scene approached the man and attempted to handcuff him. This man bolted up and swung a chain, striking our officer in the head."

With one officer unconscious, the man allegedly swung the heavy lock and chain again, hitting another officer in the face.

Then he turned his attention to three other officers.

"He advanced at these officers swinging his chain," said Chu. "These officers backed up about half a block and, at that point, he was shot by these officers."

He died at the scene. Chu would not release the victim's name.

The cop who shot him has been a Vancouver officer for three years.

"Our thoughts and sympathies go to the family of the deceased," said Chu. "Calls like this do take a heavy toll on the officers involved."

Chu said he visited one of the injured officers in hospital. The 17-year officer had stitches and was later discharged.

"The side of his head was actually quite swollen," Chu said.

The other injured officer, with two years' experience, was treated at the scene.

Chu wouldn't say how many shots were fired or from what distance.

Asked about conflicting witness reports that the victim was crawling or had his hands in the air when he was shot, Chu said those questions will be answered "as the investigation progresses."

Chu said the officers involved were not armed with Tasers, but another officer was getting a non-lethal weapon out of the trunk of his car when the shooting happened.

"We attend thousands of fight calls every year," said Chu. "What happened here . . . happened in a matter of seconds. We had an officer down and unconscious. Our officers are trained quite well, and they took the option they had to take."

On Granville Street yesterday, neighbours and shoppers said the shooting didn't shock them, but the location was a surprise.

Gillian Hervey said she heard about six shots as she was watching television.

"After the gunshots, we didn't want to go out there," she said. "I was kind of freaked out to know those shots killed the guy."

Traffic was re-routed Tuesday after a man was shot dead by police officers.
Photograph by : Ian Smith, Vancouver Sun

Skunk Hunter - The Burmese Mountain Dog

They were bred by northern tribesmen to hunt the ubiquitous and troublesome local skunks and to protect their farms and livestock.

Burmese Mountain Dogs are a rare dog breed that live in the mountains of Myanmar. They have been bred to hunt skunks and protect livestock. Their abilities as skunk hunters are quite remarkable. Note their skunk-like markings which can fool a skunk into believing the dog is another skunk, until too late. Despite their size, they can climb trees over 50-feet high in pursuit of the arboreal Burmese Skunk. In the event that a skunk sprays them, they can also shed the scent with a mere rinsing. Burmese Mountain Dogs make great pets. Their major drawback is their excessive shedding. However, they should not be confused with Bernese Mountain Dogs, which are Swiss farm dogs. More information can be found at BurmeseMountainDog.org.

Tree Climbing

Despite their stocky build, they are surprisingly quick and agile and this athleticism is very useful in the hunt. Burmers have been known to climb as much as 50 feet into trees in the northern Burmese jungles while giving chase to the arboreal Burmese Skunk, quite a feat for such a large canine.

Burmer As Family Dog

The Burmese Mountain Dog makes a great family dog, though their breeding as hunters can make it very difficult for them to share a house with cats (particularly black or black and white cats). They are intelligent, sensitive and responsive, gentle with children and usually calm once they reach adulthood. They can be easily trained, though the Burmer newbie should be warned that their tree climbing skills can lead to serious kitchen accidents if they start to think that the cabinets are full of treats for dogs rather than humans.

Shedding

If you have to ask whether they shed or not, this is probably the wrong breed for you. The thick coat all comes off 4 times a year, probably as an adaptation to rid lingering skunk smells when they come home from a hunt. It is a vast amount of fur and you can count on finding it in your car, your home, even your toothbrush. Owners report going out to dinner during a shedding period and having to apologize to the restaurateur for the cloud of mostly black fur left on their seat. So again, if you have to ask, you shouldn’t get one of these gorgeous critters.

Vegansexuality

Status: Weird, but True

The New Zealand Press reports on a new sexual phenomenon: Vegansexuality. Here are some extracts from the article:

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals...

Many female respondents described being attracted to people who ate meat, but said they did not want to have sex with meat-eaters because their bodies were made up of animal carcasses...

Christchurch vegan Nichola Kriek has been married to her vegan husband, Hans, for nine years. She would not describe herself as vegansexual, but said it would definitely be a preference... "When you are vegan or vegetarian, you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals," she said.

Wow. I never thought of myself as a graveyard for animals, but when you put it that way, I guess it is technically true.

I think what's going on here is what anthropologists call the law of sympathetic magic: Once in contact, always in contact. That is, if an offensive object touches a neutral object, the neutral object becomes permanently tainted (in the eyes of the observer) by the contact. It's a totally irrational impulse, but powerful nonetheless.

I write about an experiment in Elephants on Acid in which an experimenter briefly dipped a dried, sterilized cockroach into a glass of apple juice and then asked people if they would be willing to drink the juice. Most people didn't want to, even though the juice was in no way contaminated. It's the same principle as vegansexuality. If something really grosses us out, that sense of disgust will spread to anything touched by the offensive object.

The Solution To Panhandling: Corporal Punishment

The slaying of a Toronto tourist by four homeless panhandlers has re-ignited a discussion across the country about what can be done to curb aggressive begging.

Police spokesperson Sgt. Mark Hayward said officers make an effort of ticketing abusive panhandlers, but the courts usually toss out the charges.

Corporal punishment?
The homeless are unable to pay tickets for aggressive and violent behavior.

Hickory stick beating! The only solution!

A man panhandles outside of an Edmonton bank last June.

A panhandler who wouldn't identify himself

Councillor Michael Thompson, personally attacked by a panhandler outside Toronto's city hall, said Toronto needs special laws targeting aggressive behaviour.

Terry wrote on August 13, 2007 at 9:07:04 PM
We are not living in a Depression. People who give them money are as much a part of the problem because they are encouraging these people to continue begging.

Carol Bridgett wrote on August 13, 2007 at 9:19:28 PM
I will never understand young, healthy people begging for handouts, while standing next to a sign that says "NOW HIRING."

Some Torontonians say the stabbing death of a man shouldn't reflect badly on panhandlers who aren't aggressive, while others want to bring in a bylaw banning panhandling altogether.

Denial Of Service Attack